DEVASTATION! The Tale...

This is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, SO HELP ME GOD!

The last few of nights, I have tossed and turned. 

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine my life turning completely upside down.

He came into my life and made me feel like A QUEEN!  HE WAS MY ABSOLUTE DREAM!

He is beautiful, I can’t lie!  I love him still with everything I have inside!  Never was he denied!  He honestly made me HAPPY!  

I accepted him just the way he was!  There was nothing that he had to change in order for us to be together.  I told him, he would always be respected and appreciated and that no matter what, I will love and continue to love him regardless of credit, status or the past.  He knew that I would never use, abuse, mistreat or make him feel unwanted or unneeded!  He would always be treated like the KING he was.  He knew that whatever concerns or obstacles that lay ahead, we would work together to repair or go around them.  We would elevate each other!  I never lied to HIM!

I'm here for you with open arms, mind and heart.  He has the keys to it all and more!  I got you, it’s done, I've already taken care of that.  Everything you want and need is right here waiting on you and if it isn't we will go and get it!

He caressed my spirit, my body, my soul, my mind.   

That nigga straight up stole my heart and I was a willing participant, right from the very start!

Just the touch of his hands on my skin sends shivers throughout my entire body!  His luscious lips made me his!  Making love to him was completely an Earth shattering experience.   

SHIT, I can cum on myself right now, from the sound of his voice. 

He was demanding of me.  He was forceful when times warranted it.  He was gentle when it mattered most. 

I would walk through the proverbial HELL with a GASOLINE THONG on and then back, all for this one man.  FIRE!!!

Shit, I know LOVE isn’t everything, but like I always say, it is a wonderful foundation on which a WONDERFUL LIFE can be built upon!

I meant every word!

I GET MY HEAD BUSTED!

I don’t feel like I know anything! 

Guilty said it best:  “PAIN is nothing but WEAKNESS leaving the body.  LOVE is just a FEELING, you'll get over it.”

Well damnit, I am in so much fucking PAIN, that it’s pathetic.  Sure I know all about time, but it still hurts the same!

Shit, I have been told, “Don’t love so hard!”  But, how can you truly love someone, if you don’t give them your complete, unconditional love?

Although I try not to let anything break me, I think this shit has me fucked me up worse than that 20 year SOLITUDE CONFINEMENT I was in!  Matter of fact, this is worse than anything I have ever experienced.  and BABY, T-MAC has been through a lot.

When I leave my house, I will have a smile plastered on my face.  No one will see or know my pain is there.  I am good at acting HAPPY, when I have to!

I hate to wear my heart on my sleeve.  I hate to let anyone see me sweat.

BUT FUCK IT!  THIS IS ME! These words help me to express this mental and physical anguish that I feel.

And I know that NO ONE can judge me.

I will immerse myself in my work.  I don’t want to say too much!

Shit, IDK!

Anyways, I am done for now!

Still T-MAC!